We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize