sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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