if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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