Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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