You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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