I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize