I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize