You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize