You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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