my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize