guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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