So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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