Your tits are I can't wait for
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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