dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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