my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize