i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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