You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize