I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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