Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize