We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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