I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize