I want to make a zoo with you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
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Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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