so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
ttyl tear gas
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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