Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
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I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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