I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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