ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
