Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
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I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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