I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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