You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize