Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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