Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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