I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize