you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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