It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my being single is dangerous.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize