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  • 71 36
    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jan 15, 13 at 6:08pm

    "Without an arrest record" is reasonable, "without stripper glitter" is not. You should also include "without an STD" and "without a new set of child-support payments."

  • 57 35
    Submitted by 478 on Jan 15, 13 at 3:29pm

    Strippers in clubs don't wear glitter, so unless he hits up a burlesque show, you're okay for coming home glitter free.

  • 59 40
    Submitted by dmoney1234 on Jan 15, 13 at 4:19pm

    Your first request was the only reasonable one.

  • 47 38
    Submitted by DonkeyLipps on Jan 15, 13 at 5:29pm

    He's gunna take a shower and get his clothes dry cleaned before he comes home; so you'll probably never know...

  • 46 41
    Submitted by olderthanyou on Jan 15, 13 at 5:44pm

    I think you should lower your expectations to not come home with an STD or have a need for a paternity test!

  • 42 44
    Submitted by klungy27 on Jan 15, 13 at 11:41pm

    I think the only reasonable part of this might be coming home alive.

  • 40 41
    Submitted by elguerrero on Jan 15, 13 at 4:59pm

    Boomer Sooner!

  • 36 38
    Submitted by nonamedvs on Jan 15, 13 at 4:45pm

    Nola is the best place for a this occasion!