Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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