I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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