I wannas sexs uuuuu
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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