Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the new term for farting is butt boxing.

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(415): View more from California

I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."

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(804): View more from Virginia

NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(803): View more from South Carolina

It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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(703): View more from Virginia

At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Are you ok?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.

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