whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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