drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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