also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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