we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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