Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize