Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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