be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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