weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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