There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize