what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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