How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize