I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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